Sunday, May 31, 2009
This has been a week that I’ve wrestled and struggled with. I can’t really say it’s been a bad week. And it’s definitely had its highlights. But I’m feeling vaguely disjointed and out of sorts. I’m not really sure why. I am absolutely sure that I am feeling undercurrents of God beginning a new work in me. This is the beginning of a very busy season for me at work: VBS, Youth Camp, and a BBQ/Baptism celebration all happening in June. And yet, this is not where I feel that God is furrowing the fields of my heart and preparing me for something. I can’t quite put my finger on it, and it’s something that I’m seeing dimly. Kind of like when I get out of the shower in the morning and the mirror is fogged up, yet I want to check to make sure I got all the mascara off before I use my clean pink towel on my face. I can get the general outline, but the details just aren’t definable.
My trusty bigredtruck was in the shop all week long. Again. Actually, since a week ago last Thursday. With more transmission problems that were “fixed” when we had it rebuilt, two visits to the shop ago. We finally got it back on Friday. Tyler is thrilled that he won’t have to be sharing rides or be driven to and fro. When we got it back, I stuck my foot in my mouth and embarrassed myself. Again.
I got a prickly email from someone this week. I was able, through Christ who lives within me, to hold off on responding until I could really pray about what I should say. And I think that I did respond in such a way that I was able to point towards Christ and not denigrate the situation any further. But it’s not all resolved. I’m doing a lot of self-examination here. I don’t think this is a control issue on my part, but I’m feeling threatened and self-protective, when I should be able to rest in the assurance that this is all being handled by the Counselor. So, I am not trying to control the particular circumstance, but I am not trusting that the whole of the situation will be controlled by Him. So, I guess in the end, it really is a control issue.
And then yesterday at a closing, I received an absolutely lovely and valuable gift from the client. I tried to refuse it, but was told that refusing would be tantamount to an insult, so who am I to turn this down? Maybe this was a love-note from God, who knew I was feeling a little beat up and ragged around the edges.
Now, as I prepare to head off to youth group, I am praying that I will be shiny, and that eventually someone will say that somehow they saw the light of Christ as it shone through me.
This is a total nothingness, random-filled and boring post, but somehow I feel better now. Obviously I am indulging something here, there's some payoff. But I can't figure out what.
"We evaluate others with a godlike justice, but we want them to evaluate us with a godlike compassion."
-- Sydney J. Harris
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Somehow, I don’t think I’ll get a nickel back if I take it to the recycling center. McYummy suggested putting the plate thing on my key chain….it really is a lovely shade of green….
This is a portion of what they removed from my wrist. I guess I’m not bionic anymore. Oh, well. Even Lindsay Wagner’s selling mattresses now. Everybody’s got to hustle to make a buck.
Thank you all for your prayers. It’s already feeling better than it did before the surgery, so I am anticipating a full recovery. I’ll be rock-climbing in no time!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
About the time this is scheduled to post, I should be drifting off to dream land courtesy of some nice anesthesia cocktail prepared especially for me as Dr. McYummy prepares to remove all the metal in my right wrist.
I would covet your prayers for skilled hands of the healthcare team and speedy recovery for myself.
In a side note: my friend's sister died suddenly and tragically on Saturday. She received the news of this while @ Tyler's graduation party. Service is Thursday afternoon. I will obviously not be in attendance, but please say a prayer for her and her family.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Look again....I'll give you a hint. It's somehow related to this post. And this one, where I was feeling quite all alone and resorted to a pity plea and a threat of eating worms....And it all started, because I was trying to help My ADHD Me out by entering her little "Pay it Forward" Soiree.
Yes, it's the pretty Alert and Oriented x 4 magnet made by Mary, just for me! It's CUSTOM! I received it all the way back about 2 months ago. I'm so lame, I just never did mine until this week. And even tho' I've never heard back from any of the "real" winners except Missy, I FINALLY finished my crafts. I've had the stuff to complete them since March or so. And since Mary ended up making approximately 273 magnets for people because she easily packs her bags for any little guilt trip, I made a craft for her,too. With my own two little hands (ok, they aren't little. They are MAN HANDS..but they are MY man hands)! The crafts are almost alike, but again, they are CUSTOM! The only problem is that I lost Mary's address, so she's gonna have to send it to me again. I got off easy...I ended up making 2 of the crafts I had planned. Missy's is on it's way via Mr. US Postmaster--yes, mailed the day postage went UP. Mary's wants to be on it's way too, but is in limbo awaiting an address. She's probably afraid to send it again, just in case I'm some kind of weird stalker.
If you look closely, you'll see my very favorite 2009 graduate, my very own Tyler, who walked the stage Saturday. And to the left of that is another favorite 2009 graduate. My niece Cherise, graduated from UT with a degree in Voice. She is a true coloratura, and is one of the rare individuals who can go higher than a high F (F6) with no difficulty. Every time I hear her sing, I am reduced to tears. It's ethereal and earthy, all at once. And to the right of Tyler is my other niece Rachel, with her brother and my OTHER favorite 2009 graduate, Kyle. Kyle and Tyler were born 16 days apart. I was in the room with his mom when Kyle was born. He is like my own. Kyle will walk his own stage on May 23. Tyler is 16 days older, but graduating only 14 days sooner. I think that's a wonderful circular logic kind of equation...Are you impressed with my mathpanol yet?
Anyway, I am having surgery this Thursday to "remove" all the hardware from my unfortunate TP'ing incident. Dr. McYummy seems to think that this will help to alleviate the terrible tendonitis I've been having. I'll be up climbing rocks and zipping along lines with the youth group when I go to camp in June, God willing and the creek don't rise. I wanted to get this one "to do" of paying it forward off my list of things before summer officially starts. So as of now, I am paid in full, at least as far as this blog soiree is concerned. (and p.s.--blogger doesn't know how to spell 'tendonitis.' Just an fyi). One more FYI. Yes...that's a love note written to me from Ted (dh) on my shopping list. That then got expanded to include our whole family. I saved it. Almost every single shopping list I take with me to the store, has SOME kind of term of endearment on it. The checker lady at Smith's usually wants to see what's on the list this week...I am such a blessed woman!
Ah, if only all my debts were this easy to repay....
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Moms fix the scrapes on their own kids' knees. And the ones on the knees, hips and elbows of their kids' friends...it's just what we do.
Moms swell with pride when their kids do the right thing. If it's easy or hard. It's just what we do.
Lots of moms can't turn down a stray...a kitten left in a dumpster, a hummingbird baby that was too little to fly south, the teenager turned out by his birth parents...it's just what we do.
Moms understand that sometimes, there's nothing at all they can do to ease the hurt. So they just hold you. In their arms and in their hearts. And pray for you. It's just what we do.
Moms tear up when they hear the opening strains of Pomp and Circumstance at graduation and they know their oldest (or middle-est, or young-est) baby is down there on that floor. It's just what we do.
Moms bargain hunt, clip coupons and wait for the sale. And then sacrifice themselves to get you your heart's desire. It's just what we do.
Moms open their homes up to all their kids' friends. And try to share Christ by being the best example they can...after all, we may be the only Bible some people ever read. It's just what we do.
To all the moms in my life: to my mom, who died when I was a young bride; to my precious mother-in-law; to my best friend who loves me enough to ALWAYS tell me the truth; to my amazing sisters-in-law; to my own sister; to my countless friends:
Happy Mother's Day! You are all examples of some of God's finest work!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
So, this is a test: Upon stumbling into my living room this morning, I found my 18-year old, manly son doing which of the following:
a) Ratcheting down a small kitten in the latest Xbox 360 offering Meomi Mouse II, the Cat House
b) Watching Animal Planet for some unknown reason at 5:45 a.m.
c) Cuddling the cutest little kitten that someone had left by the dumpster at Chick-fil-A last night
Ding-ding-ding-ding! If you answered C you win the prize! A Brand…New…KITTEN!!
(sorry, at 5:45 a.m. I couldn't find the regular camera...this is a cell phone picture).
And in answer to the questions I’m just sure you’re going to ask:
a) No, I don’t know if we’ll keep her. I’m trying to vote no, but she’s just so stinkin’ cute! So is our current cat, Baggie. He is voting ‘no’ also. However, since Tyler already has a name for her, the getting rid of her thing isn’t looking so good. (It’s Sabra Girl, from a song by Nickle Creek).
b) Claire seems to be ok with her…really is dancing around and wanting to play. Unfortunately, Claire is a Silky Terrier, bred to kill snakes. Once she catches her toys, she shakes them and beats them against the floor to kill them. We’re a little worried that the squeaky kitty might seem like a squeaky elefunk toy…When I had to go out today, I put Sabra in Claire’s crate. Claire was very intrigued by the smell…this is the aggressive dog who was an owner surrender, remember.
c) Nope, not litter trained…I think she’s only about 3-4 weeks old
d) Yep, bought a nurser bottle and milk replacer (see item ‘c’). Not eating solid food at all.
e) Nope, has a kind of hard time with the latex nipple thing.
f) Yes, I have called animal rescue programs. No one has anyone willing to foster a kitten this small. And there is a $35 surrender fee. No good deed goes unpunished.
g) Yes, I think the person who abandoned her should be chained to an ant hill and have nasty fake smelling maple syrup poured over their body.
I know. I am such a bleeding heart…sigh. We are a veritable repository for strays of all kinds...