Monday, April 21, 2008

The Sibs

Sibling relationships are complicated. My relationship with my sibling is strained on good days, downright contentious on others. But I've come to accept that. It doesn't pain me as it once did. Mostly, I think that I just stuff it down to a deep, dark place where mushrooms and fungus grow. But I no longer allow bitterness to grow or fester. I want to eliminate THAT root altogether. I'm hoping it just rots away and ends up decomposing until it's a nothingness to me.

On the other hand, I think that my kids genuinely like each other. They sometimes fight like cats and dogs and say hateful, vengeful things that they don't mean. Or at least for the long run, they don't mean them. At that very moment in time, they mean them with every fiber of their being. And I think they do that because they feel safe in venting emotions with their siblings and knowing that they will be loved in spite of that. I rejoice in the thought they they take for granted that they will always be loved. But more often, they seem to have a good time together. I watch the boys together and they lay on each other and wrestle like puppies. And they hug their sister and make her feel safe. Oftentimes we'll be watching a movie, and Amy's legs will be draped across the boys'. They are comfortably, physically, affectionate with each other, like my sister and I never were. I think that it gives them a confidance and security in their persons that I didn't get. It gives me a deep-seated feeling of joy and peace when I see them like this together.

Today I took the older two out to breakfast. It was fast food, nothing special. And they were silly and funny and sloppily affectionate. And I had a precious sweet time with them. And laughed until I almost peed myself. Tyler told me that if I could just hear the voices in his head, I would understand the conversation so much more clearly. Snort-SNORT-SNARF-giggle. Until you hear 15 and 17 year old boys giggling (NOT laughing, but giggling) uncontrollably, you haven't really heard music. These are the good old days, I think....

1 comment:

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

I love this, and as you know, I totally understand. I SO want my children to be friends when they are older. I want them to constantly send emails back and forth about how crazy their parents are!

My family life was so complicated and messed up. My dad was an alcoholic, and well, as if that's not enough. My parents' eyes were definitely not on Christ.

The way that my husband and my's (my's??) marriage is is so different from my parents - night and day different. And the kids already know that God is the ultimate boss in this house. I have to believe that will prevail and that their relationships will also be based not on their sinful parents, but on Christ. That is my prayer.

My husband was raised in a Christian home and even though there are greater age spans and vast personality differences between him and his siblings, they are all strong believers, and they are all friends. That inspires me.

(I am glad I can think thru this on your blog! I can't on mine, because my mom reads it, so I have to be careful what I say. She probably won't be too thrilled about the Jay post anyway.)

:) Missy