(I know--I don't LOOK like her...I just act like a crazy/mad/control-freak who drives everyone around her insane)
After the Leader Link meeting on Sunday (where I had the Book), I had to come home and rush to a closing. Ted and I went to dinner and had a relaxing evening. The Book never crossed my mind until around 9 that evening when I thought I might make some notes and send out a few emails. Hmm….no book. But I didn’t worry. And since it was Sunday evening, I probably should have been spending time with my family instead of the Book anyway…
Monday morning found me still looking for the Book. I looked everywhere. I sent a text to Tracy to see if I had perhaps left it at their house. I tore up everything. Interestingly enough, on Saturday I had completely cleaned my desk off, so it was quite obviously not there. We’re under construction still here, and I thought that it might have gotten stashed somewhere safe until I needed it. But for the life of me, I couldn’t find it. I looked on and off all day and late in the afternoon I began feeling the strong impression that this was an attack. Satan is feeling threatened by this retreat and was somehow hindering me from finding the Book. I sent out a prayer request to several dear friends explaining the situation and asking that they pray for me to locate it. I admit, I felt a little foolish, but it was such a strong impression from the Holy Spirit, I did it. I tried to assuage my anxiety by reminding myself that everything in the Book was re-creatable (well, almost everything—all the registration forms were in it and hadn’t been put in a spreadsheet yet). But deep inside, I was starting to feel a little anxious.
On Tuesday (this morning) I met my best friend to work out. She assured me that she would pray and that she knew I would find it. I agreed with her, but I have to admit that I clung to a nagging little doubt that maybe I had tossed it out in the garbage on Monday. I came home and looked again—to no avail. I sent out emails to Glorieta asking for copies of all the contracts and paperwork they had sent to me. I wrote up notes and worked on some of the nuts and bolts details. I got out a fresh binder and began to prepare to print fresh copies of everything to make a new Book, albeit one without all the notes I’d been taking for the past couple of months. But I didn’t make copies. Amy needed me to do something (her last day before school starts tomorrow). I went to my room to get ready to go and began to pray. I told God that I knew that he knew where the Book was. That I would love to find the Book. But I also told him that if this was a control issue, that if he needed me to take a new direction, different from my notes, that I would ditch the Book. I just asked him for peace and thanked him for being the all-time best event planner ever. I had barely finished praying when the office phone rang. I ran to get it, but missed it. It immediately rang again, and I recognized the fax tone this time. When I picked up the fax (a spam fax by the way, offering me 3 days in Orlando for $149), guess what was underneath the fax in the output tray?
God is so good. Isn’t it funny how when we finally acknowledge his sovereignty rather than ours, things just fall into place?