Sunday, December 7, 2008

Infected....(or, it's Never Too Early)

Have you ever been around someone who always seems to make you feel stupid without seeming to mean to do that? I have one of those people in my life.
No matter what I say, it always seems to be the wrong thing. Or come out the wrong way. I am often gently edited or gently corrected or gently teased by this person. I firmly believe this person holds no animosity towards me, nor do I think that they dislike me at all. I think they genuinely like me. I think the person just wants to clarify what I am saying, or improve upon my delivery. I just seem to always get ‘foot in mouth’ whenever I speak in front of them. I need this person to know that I’m not stupid. Blunt, yes. I don’t pull any punches. I admire this person and desire the respect of this person. Every time I am around this person I pray that God would put His arm around my shoulder and His hand over my mouth. And it seems like every time I end up disappointing one of us.

I am sure that God is trying to teach me something here. I will listen more closely to Him. I will ponder what I say, before I say it. I will sand off some of my rough edges and not be as blunt as I am. But I will not forsake honesty and forthrightness. If I were to be less than honest, or not forthcoming, I wouldn't be me. I know that I am shaped that way. I think that God is just molding me somehow. That is going to be a fine line, and (at least for me) something to be achieved only through great effort. It’s a little early for New Year’s resolutions, but that’s my plan.
In a nutshell.

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