On the agenda today....

The other day I did a closing that was strangely disturbing.
Everything was a disconnect. At several junctures during the evening, I looked around to see if maybe there was a hidden camera, a la’ Candid Camera or Punk’d. The disconnect happened because there were too many agendas. And all of them were mixed. Although I can’t really explain how it was so odd and disturbing, the factors added up to make a totally dissatisfactory evening.

My agenda was simple: get the papers witnessed and signed properly, and go home. The widow, age 83, who was the borrower had several agendas, and sub-agendas. She is a beautiful lady—an artist, a pianist. Two of her adult sons were there. Her agenda was to complete the loan signing so she could get out from under crushing monthly financial obligations. She was also flirtatious and coquettish with her sons. She was striving for their attention—for their adoration and approval. And yet, while longing for that approval (I could tell she hadn’t made many decisions on her own), she was apprehensive and wanted reassurance that she was doing the right thing. She was refinancing her home of nearly 50 years. A home that had been free and clear, but was now going to be heavily mortgaged. At age 83, there is little chance she’ll pay down much of the principal, and her children will be left with both the home and the debt. Her sons, to be really frank, were just plain weird. The kind of weird that usually comes with genius. There is a fine line between genius and disturbed. And believe me, this line was pretty blurry. They did not want the house to be mortgaged. They wanted to be able to inherit it free and clear. That was a pretty big agenda. The interest rate was high. It was an unusual loan, with unusual circumstances. They were also clearly fond of their mother and did not want her to be taken advantage of. Another agenda. Because of all this, we ended up calling the loan officer, the loan officer’s boss and title. They had agendas too. There was only one day left in the month in which to close and still have the loan fund in that month. Big commission. Big agenda. In just looking over that paragraph, I see about 10 different agendas. The signing took almost three hours (I usually average 45 minutes). I ran the battery completely down on my phone and felt like I was re-selling the loan to the borrower. And the sweet borrower? She called me five or six times since after that evening. Should she rescind? How does that work? Where is her check?. Will they pay off her other obligations directly? Some I couldn’t answer, some I wouldn’t. The loan should have funded on Monday. I hope it did.

So, now that you’re bored with all the background, here’s my point: God has an Agenda. Capital “A” agenda. We are here at His pleasure, to accomplish His purposes, for His Glory. While I can seek to be in His will and accomplish His Agenda, sometimes the parts of that I see are obscured. I am looking at it through translucent glass, not transparent. I get a glimpse, but the picture isn’t clear. So I go busily about trying to accomplish my own many agendas. Lower case “a.” Sometimes, my agendas align perfectly with God’s. Sometimes, even though I am doing all the right things for the right reasons, it’s a disconnect. It’s out of sync with what God has planned. His Agenda is always, always, a better plan than mine. But I get so caught up in the little details of my little “a” agenda and seeing them fulfilled, I lose sight of the Agenda. That He is God. He will have His Glory. His ways are not my ways. And sometimes, my agenda is selfish. I want to be in control. Because that’s what it usually boils down to for me. Control. Whose is it? Do I loose my hands so that not only do I let go of what I want, but so that they are open to receive blessing? Or do I clench tightly, because it’s mine? My agenda. My plan. My way.

So, what’s on your agenda today?